peterpanninja

peterpanninja @ 2007-08-22T16:08:00

2007-08-22T22:17:10Z

more design work

logo ideas for erin's dad's irrigation company--so far he hasn't gotten anything made with it, but the plan is to get something put on his trucks.

center chest:

large back:

shirt idea for this year's west yellowstone training camp (duh) and i'm still waiting to hear if we're using this design or not.

more business cards:

packing seems endless.
i had no idea all the random shit i've kept over the years, it feels good to throw so much stuff away.

peterpanninja @ 2007-07-31T12:25:00

2007-07-31T20:47:20Z

the saga of the crazy boss continues.

got sent home from work today, pretty arbitrarily.
i still don't really understand how i pissed my boss off so much. i spoke, like, three words and he just started yelling it me that i should "just go home...just get on a bus and go home." what a fucking waste of my time. i spent an hour and a half commuting this morning so i could work for two hours. stupid.

there are, obviously, two options for me now--show up to work tomorrow, or don't. immediately after this all happened, and in the moments i was calling my dad and walking and shaking, i was pretty resolved to never go back. but my dad was right--rob didn't tell me NOT to come to work tomorrow. my plan is just to show up, not talk to anybody (especially rob) and just work. i'm certainly not going to make an effort to resolve the conflict or be buddy-buddy with rob anymore. if he wants to consider what happened this morning and believes that he should do something about it, i'll talk to him. (and believe me, if i didn't have only seven more days of work, he'd need to talk to me) and if he doesn't want to talk to me, (which i'm sure he's not going to admit some sort of weakness, maybe that he did something WRONG to me) then i'm just going to let this one remain in the past.

peterpanninja @ 2007-07-26T18:15:00

2007-07-27T00:36:33Z

it's official.
my boss is crazy.

i can't stand him, just chatting with my parents about some of the problems i've had makes me like my job less and less. but that's okay, because after tomorrow i'll only have two weeks left.
just to share a story about my crazy boss--the evidence i have that he's racist: weeks and weeks ago, he and i were printing shirts for an anti-drunk-driving campaign in Louisiana. (don't ask how we manage to get orders for that sort of thing all the way out here in utah--it confuses me) while printing, we were chatting about the state of things down there--i was shocked that there was any need for a drunk driving campaign, knowing how destroyed stuff was. "apparently," he said, "they're doing the wild partying just like they were before the hurricane. that part of town is already rebuilt." of course, that got us talking about the hurricane. i mentioned how the 20,000 disenfranchised blacks were confined in the ill-fitted superdome, how most of the 60,000 displaced residents were the poorest blacks in the entire state, how government red tape slowed all the efforts to help people...and rob just snapped back, "yeah, but you know what happened when a group of refugees were moved to sandy?" i responded, "...no, what?" "well, within the week there were 2 rapes and a murder." ...what, like the stupid actions of SOME means that EVERYBODY is bad? hell, how does he even know if those murders were committed by the refugees? worse than that, DOES THAT MEAN THAT PEOPLE DESERVED TO DIE, LOSE THEIR HOMES, AND BE IGNORED BY THE GOVERNMENT?

yeah, my boss is crazy.

peterpanninja @ 2007-07-13T17:29:00

2007-07-13T23:56:37Z

my entry will simply be a transcript of my journal, about the Monday i had.

7/9:

well, i finally made my first BIG mistake at work. i mean, so far, i'd just been working with screens and washing and doing sort of menial shit--but the more difficult and less autonomous tasks are easier to fuck up. it was pretty much my first day printing on the manual press. all morning i'd printed Hawaii stuff--and we had a new hire, so i was free from the really, really, bad stuff. this afternoon, i knew we had a 3 part order for a wood crafting company. Rob had made clear to me and mike and baldi that this order COULD NOT get screwed up, because there definitely wouldn't be time to get replacement shirts if anything went wrong. Well, once the colors had been mixed, shirts had been counted, and a pellin had been printed, i was given the go-ahead. I cranked through one order--the first problem was that nobody was catching for me--if someone had been, maybe i could have stopped before i got to the next order. but i was under the impression that everything was okay. I kept printing onto the next order./ Eventually, i guess rob came over and started catching--and realized my prints simply weren't good enough. The prints were getting stretched because the palates i was using still had lots of glue from the last order, and the thin ladies shirts were sticking and getting stretched when i pulled them off. Not only that, but the prints were thin and cracking.
Rob called mike in. Baldi followed. mike sorted through which shirts would be usable--and which shirts just needed to be scrapped. Majority were unusable. geoff was called to contact the customer and inform them as to what happened and if they'd want new shirts. I'd ruined nearly $300 of ladies shirts, which can't be had locally--it would take a couple of days for that stuff to ship. The customer wanted the shirts TOMORROW. while all this was going on, rob said "peter, go acetone screens." yep--i just got demoted. Will i ever print again? who knows. I went to rib five minutes before leaving (instead of washing up) and apologized. I asked," can you please just take the cost of the shirts out of my paycheck," but he responded, "we don't take costs out of employee paychecks," and i explained that i felt awful and wanted to try and fix things as much as i possibly could. (additionally, i'd like to have a chance to print again, since it took a goddamn 3 weeks before he let me) He said,"i don't hold you personally responsible. Yeah, you were the one pulling the squeegee, etc. But it's your first day on the press, and that's why i asked mike and baldi to supervise you..." and rob DIDN'T FUCKING MENTION HOW THEY LET ME FUCK UP! he didn't say, "i'm more disappointed that they didn't do their job," or even," i'm sorry nobody stopped you." NOTHING. Is it because i'm temporary, because i'm young, because what? he DID say that the real person to apologize to was geoff--because the customer is going to give him hell, not me.

what a shit Monday.

peterpanninja @ 2007-07-07T09:08:00

2007-07-07T16:47:38Z

a dark summer wind plays in the trees.
i wait with baited breath for
the arbitrary numbers, pigeonholing a year into something
between a one and a five.

the ninth hour of my day
spent in contemplation, creation, and conversation.
page after page, filled with lines
made crooked by a swaying train.

what a wonderful time trial to start the day. i was pretty tired when i woke up, but ended up tying wilson's old course record of 22:47. great weather, it was actually COLD when we started, and now it's only 10:30 and it's unbearably hot outside.
erin's cousin is here this weekend and next week, which means that i may not be seeing so much of her for a little while. her cousin is really cute, full of energy and curiosity and verbosity. i'll miss erin--but family is family, and i can be patient for a week.

planning on posting pages from my sketchbook sometime.

peterpanninja @ 2007-06-24T13:35:00

2007-06-24T21:14:22Z

to follow carey's suit, i'm posting my vector art

for my ski team's (T.U.N.A.) fall training camp tees:

here's the final design for that shirt:

tee front for my school's bi-annual music cruise:

logo for me and my girlfriend:

this was supposed to be for the sweatshirts for my literary magazine, but the stupid screenprinters we were working with DON'T USE ADOBE?!?!?

business card:

first abstract design i made, using a tutorial from bittbox:

hand traced photo:

back for ski team jackets:

thankyou card for graudation presents:

myspace graphic:

cover for a small (4 page) book i made:

back cover:

and last but not least, another hand traced photo:

anyway, i'm just like emily--i get on here, and forget what i'm going to write about.

i think i'm going to print more copies of my little book, and see if the library's "zine" section wants them. who knows, maybe someone will want to actually read and see it. i want to make another book about all my experiences with girls, i think it could be an interesting one. however, i need to learn more about bookbinding first. perhaps this community can help.

maybe if i bind some books and write some thankyou notes i'll have something to say on here.

bleh tuesday.

2007-06-20T00:04:23Z

i'm too busy these days, but it's not with interesting stuff.

work still sucks. i still have the same responsibilities i had during week 1--and we're on week 3 now. i guess things will probably change eventually, or at least, i hope they do.

had a great weekend last weekend. spent a wonderful friday night and saturday with erin, including a 5K saturday morning. erin and i crawled out of bed at 7:10 to register by 7:30. and then i ended up seeing one of my old running coaches at the meet--the guy who won the st. george marathon. anyway. it was fun, i got third (and lost my prize certificate for ASICS shoes, 'cause i put it on top of the car and drove awayyy.) and then erin and i napped for the rest of the day.
sunday, i helped my parents prepare for what has been called "one of the best coffee hours ever held at st. paul's" and then ate lunch with jay and tyler. i vastly enjoyed seeing both of them, and letting my metro/gay side come out for a little while. at the end of the afternoon, tyler left, and jay and i chatted and wandered over to this little park i'd never been to before--there was some great lighting, and

anyway, not much else going on. i'm trying to get back into ski practice, which is hard after taking a few weeks off. erin won't be there tonight because it's her brother's birthday, and he's come back to town for the week. and i have no idea what to get him.

nobody thought i could do it...

2007-06-17T16:59:24Z

well, i finally did the inevitable.
i deleted my myspace.

in case you never do this yourself,

i was surprised that they asked for your comments:

just in case you WEREN'T SURE (ridiculous, really.)

it is finished.

yeah, i feel nice and clean now.
no more annoying-15-year-old-attention-seeking-scene-bitches.
fortunately, i have the contact info for the REAL friends i made on that site.

anyway, time to write college gift thankyou notes.

dad,

2006-11-28T14:58:49Z

you yelled at me like it was 7:30 when i woke up this morning,
and i looked at my watch and it was only 7.

so i took you seriously, like the roads were made of glass and that getting ski clothes would take an age. i hurried when i ate breakfast, i hurried when i got dressed. i hurried when i got my ski clothes together and i hurried when i got my books together. and when i got the garage? you weren't ready yet, and you made ME sweep off the car and load everything up. and you still weren't ready when i was done.

and you yelled at me again.
no wonder i think everyone hates me sometimes.

let's hope the day goes uphill after this.
god, i haven't written in here in forever.

today was region:

2006-10-12T03:55:35Z

morning:

at the stupid assembly:

religion class:

religion teacher:

art class homies:

"the ashtray"

someone spilled:

water:

food:

busride:

kjasa:

john: (he won his race)

our start:

luke: (he set the course record today)

intense finish.

i placed 4th. state is next wednesday. hope it goes well...

my amazing evening

2006-10-11T03:08:57Z

hectic.

2006-09-29T03:44:24Z

that's what life is.
hectic.

and it's only getting worse.
but i think things will calm down once fucking running ends. i'm so sick of it. el and i got in sort of a confrontation today, it wasn'very fun. he treats me like i'm someone younger, stupider, less than him. i wanted to scream at him. just because you drink more, run faster, and have more friends doesn't mean you get to act like my coach. step back.

ugh.

between that and the

i was driving down 13th east.
i moved into the left turn lane.
there were 3 cars ahead of me.
the protected left turn signal changed.
those cars left.
it changed back as i approached the line.
the light turned green, traffic began to move in both directions.
i pulled forward, into the intersection, expecting to have time to turn.
a billion people run through the yellow.
i'm too scared to run through a now red intersection.
i'm blocking traffic on my left.
enough people are yelling at me that i'm convinced that i need to act.
i think i see a gap, and make a left.
a blue minivan flies out of nowhere, i see him for about a tenth of a second in my peripheral vision.
we're both in the left lane.
there's a median
so i swerve right, so i don't hit it,
and so i hit his driver's side rear quarter panel.

here's the images:

my car:

his car:

thank god it was another teenager
i don't think i couldn've handled a forty-year-old self-riteous man yelling at me.

and the wild

bettin tells us:
5 paintings.
90 minutes.
one fruit (mine was an apple)
5 VERY DIFFERENT views.

so of course, everyone jumps headfirst into it.
we're going wild before you know it.
everyone's cursing and knocking stuff over, and wondering who has terp.

my result:

but when bettin came around, he just looked at everyone's and said,
"average,"
"not out of the box yet,"
"what the hell is this?"
"some of you should consider dropping at the quarter."

i think he was referring more to whitney's paintinggg...

but i never know with him
so afterschool
i went in and had a chat
and showed him that during math class i couldn't stop coming up with new ideas
probably because i wasn't working so hard, because i sat back and actually gave it some thought.
he said i was on the right track,
so i'll keep drawing in my sketchbook before i put brush to paper.

i'm pretty worn out, waiting for the week to just end.
it'll get easier soon, i keep telling myself.
it'll get easier.
once running ends
and skiing starts,
everything will get better.

here's an idea

2006-09-24T15:29:28Z

...i'm too lazy to write my own "about me" on myspace.
therefore i want you to describe me.
yeah, YOU.

post your comments to this blog anonymously.
everything that's posted (unless it's obviously bullshit) will be posted as my "about me" on my myspace.

try to recall:
-specific events
-specific qualities (i'm really hoping i don't get like six "you're really cute" ones or something)
-what YOU think my passions are
-what you DON'T like about me.

thanksss.

yarr. we be asphalt pirates.

2006-09-15T02:45:33Z

tshirt makinggg again. here. omghh.

updating.

2006-09-07T16:14:03Z

yeah.
there's not too much to write about.
last night i hung out with erin, and everything was cool. well, she had alot of homework to get done, so we went back to the dorm kind of early. and then brittany came over, and had to bitch about breaking up with her longtime boyfriend because he's "two years old" and then it stressed the hell out of erin because she and i didn't get to have fun, plus she has an unimaginable amount of homework and it's awful for her. she called me before she went to bed, at like, 11:30 and was crying. i felt so awful. oh well.
plus when i fell when i was biking. that sucked, i felt really stupid and...like i can't do anything and that i suck at life. plus my elbow JUST healed from the last time i fell, and now it's all fucked up again.

there's pictures.
but i'm at school.
and therefore can't upload them.

more to come, i'm sure.

back at school.

2006-08-28T19:00:01Z

this is awful.
so far i have homework in every class.
and i have ms. bills for math, and it's awful because you ALWAYS have to do your homework in pencil for her, and i hate people who are sticklers about dumb little stuff like that. anyway i don't want to do a rollerski today, i'd rather just go running at my house, so that's probably what i'm going to do. my plan is to leave school, take the bus to dad's office, get the car, go see erin 'cause she gets out like, 20 minutes after i do today. ughh, i have so much homework though, its kind of bothering me. at least i have a free, although of course i have to write down what's happening today here, because i'm obsessive like that, therefore i'm not getting homework done. i'm thinking this is mostly just a ploy by the teachers to make us expect we'll have work--and instead, in a week from now, things will taper off a bit and we won't have such ridiculous amounts of work to do. and it's not like this stuff is hard, it's just annoying and whatever. my tuesdays are the worst days ever: all 3 of my ap classes, and then math at the end of the day. ughh. but at least there's lit mag--i'm applying to be the photo editor, and i should get the position...i mean, i was the photographer who took the picture that won "photograph of the year" and was almost selected for cover. so i don't see how anyone else could have this position. it'll be good, it means an authority position without too much work, i just have to review things and select good stuff and reject bad stuff.
yep.
well.
i'm gonna quit dinking around and get some homework done, so i can actually see erin tonight.
i'll be on later.

blahgaghhh.

2006-08-26T21:21:51Z

yeah, we had a race today.
yeah, it was extreme.
the rowland-hall team was there. we all had some laughs. i enjoyed myself. and then i ran.
pretty fast, actually. it was only a 2 mile, and it was a relay race, but we didn't have a full team for varsity today, so it was more training and posting a time. it was just going to be luke and myself--at first i was going to run the first leg, but luke decided he wanted to run with some kids in the first wave, so we switched.
it meant that he would get a great head start for me. and that he did. a good 150m, and he passed me the baton after two laps of the little park. i ran really hard for about the first 250m, and didn't even feel anything for the first mile. THEN i felt something. wow. i was able to concentrate, it was really nice, there wasn't a whole lot of yelling and screaming, but then i noticed that when there was yelling and screaming, it was coming from behind me. "TYLER! C'MON, YOU CAN CATCH HIM!" ...hmm, this might be a cause for concern. every turn i glanced behind--and he wasn't getting too close, though his throngs of classmates were probably giving him that extra boost of sideline support--meanwhile the few people goodly enough to cheer for me were doing their best--"do what you did in the mountains, boy!" yelled coach dupri, "this is yours, push it!" from the mcmillians. just after mile one, that stupid baton was really bothering me--i wished i could just drop it and run like a normal person, instead of a person with a diploma in their hand. anyway, i slow a little on the track, take it easy across the top of the hill...and then i hear the frenzied screaming again, and the mcmillians tell me to speed up. well, no reason to look back. i just kept running. and i looked back at a turn--only about 100m now. well, just try to hold the lead, i thought. about 500m to go, dupri is at the sideline. "make this a personal victory, peter." i heard him say, over the screams of "CATCH HIM TYLER, 400 METERS TO GO!!!" well, around the chainlink fence, only a few meters away from the entrance to the passing area, tyler passes me. but a little leech that's been on his back this whole time tries to pass me, too, and wilson leaning on the fence says with a sigh "don't let him pass you, peter..." and i thought. hell. no. don't pass me. don't start edging me into the fence. you know what? i almost got clipped on the fence, this kid was getting a little too close for comfort. i was pissed. therefore? i shoulder-checked him, and exploded down the last 40m. went through the finish line. and then heard a race official that i can't STAND--he's always a bitch about clothing and hair and jewelry and always says "now let's have a nice clean, slow start, with no restarts" and he was responsible for the unbelieveable 5 restarts at the murry invitational varsity race last year. i hear him say--"why's the runner still have the baton?" i angrily yelled back--"WE ONLY HAVE 2 RUNNERS." exhausted, i handed my sticker to the race officials, and let them sort it out--they put me behind this tyler kid, and in front of the kid i shoved. good decision on their part.
i let the baton slip from my exhausted fingers into the firm hands of dupri.
jogged my cool-down in socks.
and slept on the ride home.

peterpanninja @ 2006-08-25T22:26:00

2006-08-26T05:03:10Z

summer is coming to an end.
it's a little depressing, i suppose.

i think it's time for a little summary:
erin graduates.
i graduate.
cool my heels.
decide to finally get my license.
leave for mica.
have a wild time.
learn lots.
meet tons of kids.
come home.
run.
rollerski.
get new computer.
see erin more.
erin goes to college.
peter's school starts soon.

i have more pictures than i thought humanly possible.

i would write more, and leave captions and things, but i've got a race tomorrow and i have to be at judge BY 6 because it's in american fork and it starts at eight and i have to go to bed, and i just saw snakes on a plane and it's all i can think about and it was really funny, and it scared erin so much but i really should go to bed, and i miss erin and it sucks that she's so busy, and i wish i didn't have to go to bed so early tonight.

yep.
okay.
goodnight.

a choice.

2006-08-03T19:32:05Z

well. here's what i've always found. i can choose between writing about life, and living life. and halfway through MICA, i decided that i'd rather live life than make interpretations and just think and muse about everything, instead of experiencing. there's too many things i could write about, now. i could write about this new computer i'm using. i could write about how happy erin and i are. i could write about how i miss MICA and everyone who was there.

but i will live instead, and write later. there's about 800ish pictures i should upload, but i'll get there when i get there.

love to everyone, i'll talk to you soon.

update number two--not finished yet.

2006-06-25T21:56:29Z

again, alot of pictures behind the cut. today, as our "introduction to visual thinking" thing, we had to build towers strictly out of newspaper, (no glue, sissors, tape, or whatever) inside a little square. we were thrown into groups by our birthday. here's the kids i was with. i don't have a final picture of the product, sorry. i'll explain more later.

MICA-day one

2006-06-25T03:08:49Z

well. there's not much to say about MICA so far. our TARC is really nice. i've had alot of fun. it's raining right now, really pretty and nice. i'm not used to the humidity but that's okay.

this is my roommate, will. i keep wanting to call him matt.

this is my corner of the room, complete with map and personal pictures.

this is ian, one of my apartment-mates.

and lastly, this is james, he's a freakin' bamf.

and yeah, we have a really shitty WiFi signal, and my photobucket isn't able to work with the very small bandwidth and whatever. so. i'll have more to post later. goodnight.

and we'll become

2006-04-27T04:51:12Z

silhouettes when our bodies finally go.

things have been too crazy to update too much.
i bought P!ATD finally, that's the first music i've actually bought since forever. ap tests are coming up in like, 2 seconds. i can't stand ms scott. i listen to music about 24/7, including when i bike, which i'm doing all the time. but yeah. choir region thing today went ok, and at least i got a decent picture out of it.

peterpanninja @ 2006-04-16T13:20:00

2006-04-16T19:15:19Z

whoops. screwed up before. sizing was too big.

peterpanninja @ 2006-04-14T21:16:00

2006-04-15T04:21:41Z

i've lived quite the day today.
beginning early this morning, going to the lutheran church to meet up with some college kids. we were going to habitat for humanity. i had no idea what i was getting into, i'd only heard of habitat through my parent's own generous donations to random charities, habitat for humanity being one of them. i rode in the car with karen cramer, which brought back lots of e.y.e. memories. we arrived wayy on the west side somewhere, and entered a street of quaint houses, two of which were in varying stages of completion. one house had drywall, but no doors or siding. the other house had the framework, but the roof had'nt been covered yet. i didn't have any idea what we would be working on as i signed my name on a sheet in the more completed house, my lungs filling with dust and my fingers roughened by the construction grit on the pen. a man that looked alot like erin's father stood before us in the street, and we gathered in a circle around him. he asked us if we knew about habitat, and how much experience we'd had in this kind of work, and so on. he had a kind yet biting sarcasm about him, and as we climbed the roof of the mostly unfinished building, he pulled out a half-smoked cigar (in a cigar holder, of course) and lit it. it bounced jovially as he told us how we were to do our jobs. he explained that the roof we were standing on (the side we were on was mostly covered by plywood, but the ridge of the roof and the north side were open to the floor below) wasn't completely nailed in, that we were going to secure it to the joists or posts or whatever that hold up the roof. he tacked down some chalklines, and we got our hammers and our nails, and we made loud banging noises at 9:30 in the morning. little brass heads getting pounded into the wood was pretty exciting, and i was really good at it. i guess my dad's skill had rubbed off on me, and i was able to get a whole chalkline done (that's about 15 feet of roof, going from ridgeline to the edge, and a nail every 4 or 5 inches) about twice as fast as everyone else. but it's not easy work; i was either in a crouched position, or, when my legs started shaking out of fatigue, i would kneel or sit. this was particularly uncomfortable because i wore shorts. i felt the unsanded splinters and daggers of wood stabbing my exposed legs. but we just kept nailing in the nails, making thunderous racket. there were fourteen of us, so i suppose it was no surprise that we had all the wood that was already on the roof nailed down in about an hour. but we still had some gaping holes, so the foreman got off the roof and cut us some plywood, and we patched the holes and did more chalklines until we were left with the last corner of the house by lunchtime. so we left and ate. when we returned, we mounted the roof again, and set to work correcting our mistakes--sometimes, an over-zealous nailer had missed the post underneath the plywood sheeting on top, and therefore the board wasn't actually secured. someone had to go under the roof and hammer the nails out, and then we would have to try again. this is slower work, and while we were waiting for the nails to rise 1/16th of an inch so we could pull them out, we tacked down more plywood. it was really exciting, the foreman guy came up the ladder with a slab of plywood over his back, and the circular saw in his other hand (note: the saw is plugged in) and smoking a fresh cigar. after we'd finished the roof, we had to move some lumber around. the foreman asked me and another guy i didn't know to get "the straightest 4x6 we could find--and the length doesn't matter, they're all 12 footers." we walked to the back end of the street, where the lumberyard was. a nice straight beam lay under a less ideal one; we removed the top beam and pulled out the other one. and the guy i'd never met said, "shoulders, don't you think?" and i nodded, and we picked up the beam and propped it onto one shoulder. the walk was only about 100 feet. it wouldn't be bad, i said to myself. but the wood was incredibly heavy--i'd never felt such dense wood in my life. the corners dug into my shoulder, and padding with my hands just drove my own knuckles into my back. i was breathing really hard, and we'd only gotten about 20 feet away from the lumber pile. i strained. i was sweating. the weight was dragging at every muscle in my body. i had to do something. 50 feet to go. as we were trudging, i switched shoulders. it didn't help much, now my right shoulder instead of my left was being crushed. eventually, after what seemed like an eterninty, we dropped the wood onto a pile in front of the partially built house.
and when i went to church, and kneeled again on my raw and sore knees, and brushed my fingers against the wood cross, and felt the chalice push into my blister on my thumb, it made more sense than it had before. i had never felt the force of nails before. i hadn't understood the sound, the feeling of having a nail enter wood, let alone human flesh. i had never tried (or been forced) to haul a beam across my shoulderblades. i had never trudged under such weight. i didn't even realize how painful the wood must've been; it wasn't like the romans were trying to make crucifixion comfortable. frayed wood in the small of my back would've been pure hell compaired to the scrapes on my knees. these things i had never known; i'd never felt the roughness of wood, the explosions of hammers, the weight that can be carried.
this was the first time i'd experienced any of the things jesus might've even nearly encountered. there's only one thing i've dealt with before--that's the ridicule of the crowd. the shouts and jeers. the mockery. i felt a little bit of that on thursday, when i played jesus for a half-filled auditorium, and the kids from my choir class shouted, "crucify him!" and i relived alot of my years.

do you remember, a night not so long ago?
the angels spilled over heaven's edge
to sing
a glorious song,
the world rejoiced
for a tiny babe was born,
but for now, in this dark hour
the angels morn.

where are the angels?
they fold their golden wings to hide their crying eyes,
to hide their crying eyes,
where are the angels?
they turn away they cannot bear to see him die,
bear to see him die.

do you remember, that night in Gethsemane
he prayed, he asked for deliverance,
and yet, he does god's will,
the world redeemed
for he dies a sinner's death
and the angles grieve
to know he breathes
his last earthly breath.

where are the angels?
they fold their golden wings to hide their crying eyes,
to hide their crying eyes,
where are the angels?
they turn away they cannot bear to see him die,
bear to see him die.

why did the angels let him suffer on the cross?
if they had intervened,
then we would still be lost.

so there's a darkness
no night dares to imitate
to mask the scene so that heaven's eyes
may look, but may not see
the lord of all,
dying in agony

where are the angels?
where are the angels?
where are the angels?

i'm born at 4:00

2006-04-11T16:51:25Z

there is nothing new today
except that i'm seventeen now.
school is super boring, especially when i feel like i should be having a party. i just did a buncha id's for AP US. but this is better than last year, everyone actually noticed that it's my birthday. i'm really excited to see what my parents got me, i'm expecting something big because the giftcard they got me to the itunes music store was only 30 bucks, and i know they could've gotten me $100 one if they wanted. so idk what they're planning. jay got me a really cute shirt on sunday, and i'm hoping that erin, lauren, sadie, and other kids find other creative stuff. that's what i want most...i want something that'll make me think of you when i wear/use/whatever it. such as the tie that hannah sent me, omghalsktjw it's so cute.
anywho.
better go back to class.